Get a call to pick up a lady at one of the senior care facilities going to the clinic. Not out of the ordinary, but the dispatcher prefaces giving me the call with, "hope it's not a problem, but could you please please please help the old lady from the door to the van, and then help her into the clinic? She called and said that she would need a little help because she didn't want to fall on the ice."
The plea seemed a little weird until I thought about it and remembered that one of my co-workers was making a serious gripe the other day about being expected to help little old ladies to and from the car. At the time I wasn't thinking about what I said and had agreed a little too swiftly. This was mostly due to the fact that one of our regular customers was being a little to forthcoming with orders for my tastes and I felt that my generosities were being a bit abused.
Once I realized that the dispatcher had taken what I said to mean that 'I hate all old people and would rather die than help them navigate the ice between their meager home and the cab,' I was a bit embarrassed.
It occurred to me how lucky I am. I have a job where I get to help little old ladies that I don't have any relation (working or familial) with. How many other jobs are like that? How cool would it be if some more were? Just the ability for someone to take one minute (no joke...no embellishment...just one) and help someone else who will appreciate it. (...and that point can't be made enough: No pay, no benefit at all other than a smile and a thank you.)
It wouldn't change the world. It wouldn't feed anybody. It wouldn't change any states' color...
...but it sure feels good to be given the chance to help an old lady every once in awhile.
Especially when the old lady is cool enough to say as she takes your hand, "I've had the runs for four days and I got to go to the clinic so the doctor can look up my ass."
Monday, January 15, 2007
Saturday, January 13, 2007
"Like, why even bother?"
Been in a crap mood for a while now and am trying hard to figure out exactly why. I'm pretty sure there is only so much stand-offishness and staring into the distance that my girlfriend is willing to take.
I think that most of the crap mood comes from the second class citizen vibe I get from driving cab. That "servant" quality. Never bothered me when I drove cab before; of course, that was six years, a military enlistment, and a whole lot of experience ago. I guess I'm just tired of the automatic assumption that people make as soon as they get into the cab, or while they're waiting to be wheeled in.
I try to maintain a good attitude and smile and partake in the small talk, but the look of shock that I get when people find out that I'm starting school will never stop bugging me, nor will the conservative rambling (read: hate speak) of a couple of the old-time regulars, or the assumption that since I was nice and very helpful last time I drove you, that I respond to orders from anyone anymore.
I guess it's nonsense that a part time job should affect my whole perception, but it does. I think it's a coupling of that and the wait for school to start. A feeling of unproductiveness,
Not to mention outside events such as the war and the apparent lengths people will go to fulfil and provide for their own selfishness,
Not to mention the attitude that a major university can have when it comes to even KNOWING what the Montgomery GI Bill is,
Not to mention the student who couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that I was starting college at the ripe old age of twenty seven ("like, why even bother?")...
If you've read this far, my apologies; I'm just pissy. I'm sure next blog will be a little more entertaining.
I think that most of the crap mood comes from the second class citizen vibe I get from driving cab. That "servant" quality. Never bothered me when I drove cab before; of course, that was six years, a military enlistment, and a whole lot of experience ago. I guess I'm just tired of the automatic assumption that people make as soon as they get into the cab, or while they're waiting to be wheeled in.
I try to maintain a good attitude and smile and partake in the small talk, but the look of shock that I get when people find out that I'm starting school will never stop bugging me, nor will the conservative rambling (read: hate speak) of a couple of the old-time regulars, or the assumption that since I was nice and very helpful last time I drove you, that I respond to orders from anyone anymore.
I guess it's nonsense that a part time job should affect my whole perception, but it does. I think it's a coupling of that and the wait for school to start. A feeling of unproductiveness,
Not to mention outside events such as the war and the apparent lengths people will go to fulfil and provide for their own selfishness,
Not to mention the attitude that a major university can have when it comes to even KNOWING what the Montgomery GI Bill is,
Not to mention the student who couldn't wrap his mind around the fact that I was starting college at the ripe old age of twenty seven ("like, why even bother?")...
If you've read this far, my apologies; I'm just pissy. I'm sure next blog will be a little more entertaining.
Tuesday, January 9, 2007
Informed.
I guess it's my fault that I had the news on the radio rather than something a little less conversational.
A report about Hussein's execution came on while I took two coworkers home from their morning shift at McDonald's. The younger guy in the back tells his middle-aged counterpart up front that he saw the execution video online. The lady (who was chowing-down on her "cherries jubilee") expressed absolute shock fairly well for having a mouth crammed full of cherry pie filling.
She asked if the executioners said anything. The young guy said that they were giving him a hard time but said that the video quality was so bad that he could not tell what they were saying. (Not to mention that they were probably speaking in Arabic, but I'm not going to see it so what do I know.) He mentioned that the onlookers seemed pretty angry and that after the hanging they started pounding on the body. (Again I'll reiterate...I didn't see the thing, so I have no idea if that's what happened, that's just what this guy in my cab said happened.)
She licked the cheery of her lips and said, "Well what do you expect, those poor people who lost loved ones in 9-11 have every right to be upset with that man."
Me and the guy in the back exchanged glances and, although we'd never met and didn't know each other, decided mutually and silently, to not press it and let this lady believe whatever she wants.
In my mind, though, it's a different story...
"No more NPR in the cab if all you're going to do when you get home is turn on Fox News or Rush!!! You people deserve to be lied too!!!"
From now on it's Nickelback, Pussycat Dolls, and the Eagles. Just like you all seem to want.
A report about Hussein's execution came on while I took two coworkers home from their morning shift at McDonald's. The younger guy in the back tells his middle-aged counterpart up front that he saw the execution video online. The lady (who was chowing-down on her "cherries jubilee") expressed absolute shock fairly well for having a mouth crammed full of cherry pie filling.
She asked if the executioners said anything. The young guy said that they were giving him a hard time but said that the video quality was so bad that he could not tell what they were saying. (Not to mention that they were probably speaking in Arabic, but I'm not going to see it so what do I know.) He mentioned that the onlookers seemed pretty angry and that after the hanging they started pounding on the body. (Again I'll reiterate...I didn't see the thing, so I have no idea if that's what happened, that's just what this guy in my cab said happened.)
She licked the cheery of her lips and said, "Well what do you expect, those poor people who lost loved ones in 9-11 have every right to be upset with that man."
Me and the guy in the back exchanged glances and, although we'd never met and didn't know each other, decided mutually and silently, to not press it and let this lady believe whatever she wants.
In my mind, though, it's a different story...
"No more NPR in the cab if all you're going to do when you get home is turn on Fox News or Rush!!! You people deserve to be lied too!!!"
From now on it's Nickelback, Pussycat Dolls, and the Eagles. Just like you all seem to want.
Friday, January 5, 2007
Modern Times.
Two old guys...cocked of their rockers,
Guy in front (to me): We've had a bit too much to drink.
Guy in back (to guy in front): I don't know why you always bring up religion when we go out, Fred.
Guy in front (whose name is apparently Fred - to me): Don't mind him, he just gets worked up.
Guy in back (angry that we are ignoring him - to both of us): Now you guys should listen to me, cause I know what I'm talking about. You ain't a Christian or a Protestant or a Jew. There ain't such a thing. They're all just stuff on earth made by man that keeps man in power. You can say you are whatever you are, but you ain't shit. You ain't a Buddhist, you ain't a Muslim, you ain't a Mormon...
Guy in front has gotten sick of drunk theology and turns around and shouts as we cruise into his driveway, "...AND YOU AIN'T BOB DYLAN SO JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!!!"
Guy in front (to me): We've had a bit too much to drink.
Guy in back (to guy in front): I don't know why you always bring up religion when we go out, Fred.
Guy in front (whose name is apparently Fred - to me): Don't mind him, he just gets worked up.
Guy in back (angry that we are ignoring him - to both of us): Now you guys should listen to me, cause I know what I'm talking about. You ain't a Christian or a Protestant or a Jew. There ain't such a thing. They're all just stuff on earth made by man that keeps man in power. You can say you are whatever you are, but you ain't shit. You ain't a Buddhist, you ain't a Muslim, you ain't a Mormon...
Guy in front has gotten sick of drunk theology and turns around and shouts as we cruise into his driveway, "...AND YOU AIN'T BOB DYLAN SO JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!!!"
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
An Account of New Years Eve.
New Years Eve...
like all the other drinking holidays, it is a night for all you amateur drunks to come out and really let all those demons you got inside of you go free with minimal consequence.
Rest assured, it was indeed a privilege to cart your inebriated butts around all night.
Since I'm sure you all don't remember, here's what happened:
8:08 Chinese Restraunt - Downtown Bar (local)
- twenty something girl who was already completely wasted, accompanied by dirty old man who informed me he had plans for her, upon hearing me say that that was kind of messed up, he proclaims that he is, "just a man." Whatever the hell that means. I have heard this expression used for the worst kind of human behavior and I've gotten sick of it. Dollar tip.
8:24 Residence - Downtown Bar (local)
- Large group, semi-loud. Very Friendly. Five Dollar Tip.
9:00 Apartment Building - Downtown Bar (sports)
- Large group, all young women. Standoffish at first, then friendly. Three Dollar Tip.
9:23 Country Residence - Downtown Bar (upscale)
- Father-Son outing. Enjoy Frank Sinatra on the radio, talkative. Two Dollar Tip.
9:30 Hotel - Downtown Bar (hipster)
-large group of young men who claim that there was nothing to do in the Twin Cities, so they came an hour out of town across the state border, probably underage. Two Dollar Tip.
10:00 Apartment - Downtown Bar (local)
- After I spent twenty minutes looking around for a nonexistent address, gentleman calls to complain that I am twenty minutes late, finds out that he made an error, gives correct address. Upon entering vehicle (finally) is upset that his ride is late, despite the fact that he gave the wrong address. During the ride, he asks why there is no meter and finds out that since the cab company is run by the city, it is a flat rate of $2.75 per person. "Well since you're a city employee, and my tax dollars pay for your wage, I'm not going to tip you." Screw you pal. It's not like a get paid well, or get health care, or dental, or any pleasure from looking for nonexistent addresses cause you're either to stupid or lazy to find out just where the hell you are. No Tip.
10:15 Downtown Bar (local) - Trailer Court
- Regular drunk who got a DUI in August. Informs me that he's giving up drinking, and plans to open up his own private taxi service and that I should come work for him. Almost forgets case of beer in cab. Dollar Tip.
10:22 Downtown Bar (local) - Apartment Building
- Regular rider going home who is happy to have gotten a New Year's Hat (you know, the ones
with the rubber bands.) Twenty-five Cent Tip. (In her defence, she rides with us almost everyday, and always gives a twenty-five cent tip. I appreciate the consistency.)
10:46 Gas Station - College
- Stopped for coffee and was asked for a ride...figured "why not." I learned why not when he puked in the bucket I had strategically placed between the seats. Twenty-five Cent Tip. (PRICK!!!)
11:21 Hotel - Downtown Bar (Sports)
- Guy spending the night in town to visit girlfriend who had to work that night. Two Dollar Tip.
11:34 Residence - Hotel
- Very drunk young woman and very sober young guy taking care of her. While I wouldn't classify it as "puking," she too used the bucket. (Almost couldn't breath for a minute there.) Two Dollar Tip.
12:00 Make my way home to kiss a beautiful woman and bring in the new year right for the first time in my life.
12:10 High School - Apartment
- Regular who is confined to a wheel chair. Good to see a familiar face. Almost get stuck in his back parking lot due to snow accumulation. No Tip. (None Expected.)
12:30 Downtown Bar (hipster) - Residence
- same place as 8:24. Girlfriend had had too much to drink and boyfriend was seeing her home. Boyfriend insists that I take him back after he goes inside to pee. Says that he already has two out of three of his buddies all but laid for the night and is going back to work for the third. cont.
12:36 Residence - Downtown Bar (hipster)
- take the proxy-Casanova back, wish him luck. Five Dollar Tip.
12:49 Main Street - Downtown Bar (upscale)
- two guys flag me down...will be seeing them again. Dollar Tip.
12:59 Downtown Bar (hipster) - Apartment
- Some of the women who I took out at 9:00. Complain of being groped. I apologize on behalf of all men even though I have never groped anyone without permission. Five Dollar Tip.
1:18 Downtown Bar (Dance Club) - Motel
- Get the "wait one minute" finger for about ten minutes only t0 watch this young guy drag a very drunk young woman out from the bar and put her in the back. I wait for him to get in as he closes the door and comes up to my window brandishing a ten dollar bill. Tells me that the room they are staying is open and asks me to make sure that this girl who has just passed out in the back of my taxi gets inside. I tell him that maybe he should take her back and I could bring him back to the club, but he insists on staying, saying that he trusts me not to do anything to her.
Dude, I know that you aren't reading this, but I still have to say that you are a very bad friend, and if I was a couple of rungs down the morality ladder this girl could have been in serious danger, not to mention I could have stole all the booze you had laying about in your open motel room. Maybe I'm being uptight, but...whatever. I took her to the room sat her down on the bed and left.
People scare me sometimes.
Seven Dollar and Twenty-Five Cent Tip.
1:30 Downtown Bar (Dance Club) - Residence
- Large group, very drunk, very loud. Get concerned when I take a wrong turn and add three minutes to their trip. Thankful when I get them home. Girl who was in passenger seat falls on her butt in snow covered driveway and starts weeping. I get out to see if she is OK, friend who is consoling her say it's alright and I leave them to weep and comfort in their snowy driveway.
Five Dollar Tip.
1:50 Downtown Bar (local) - Residence
- It's the guys from 12:49. The whole ride back, the younger guy is on the phone with someone who appears to be very irritated. Gives the phone to me and asks me to tell his mother (!!!) that I am a cab driver and that I am taking him home. His mother is very drunk and starts yelling at me that her son shouldn't be out. I hang up.
Sometimes I hate people from Wisconsin.
No Tip.
2:13 Downtown Bar (local) - Hotel
- I was starting to get tired at this point and honestly don't remember a thing about it. Possible Tip.
2:31 Downtown Bar (sports) - Apartment
- a surprising lack of calls makes me park in front of the bar with the most people. A fella stumbles out and in a huff a yells incomprehensibly at the people who are cheering that he just got thrown out. He falls on the sidewalk and I help him up. He says he has no money. I take him home anyway.
No Tip.
2:43 Downtown Bar (local) - Hotel
- my mood was starting to wear a bit thin, but these people, although drunk, were in good spirits and enjoyed some of my lewder stories about driving cab. Good peeps. Five Dollar Tip.
3:05 Residence - Residence
- get the "just a minute" finger again for about five minutes (I was supposed to be off at 3:00) and get the a cab full of the most uppity little rich kids I've ever heard speak. One girl actually complained about how cold her toes were from the snow. Maybe it's just me, but I would reconsider the sandals if I were going out on a frosty January evening in Wisconsin.
3:15 Downtown Bar (local) - Country Residence
- Appreciative drunks who are glad to get a safe ride home and say that they appreciate me working on New Years Eve Night. Five Dollar Tip and Many Thank Yous.
Your Welcome. Happy New Year.
like all the other drinking holidays, it is a night for all you amateur drunks to come out and really let all those demons you got inside of you go free with minimal consequence.
Rest assured, it was indeed a privilege to cart your inebriated butts around all night.
Since I'm sure you all don't remember, here's what happened:
8:08 Chinese Restraunt - Downtown Bar (local)
- twenty something girl who was already completely wasted, accompanied by dirty old man who informed me he had plans for her, upon hearing me say that that was kind of messed up, he proclaims that he is, "just a man." Whatever the hell that means. I have heard this expression used for the worst kind of human behavior and I've gotten sick of it. Dollar tip.
8:24 Residence - Downtown Bar (local)
- Large group, semi-loud. Very Friendly. Five Dollar Tip.
9:00 Apartment Building - Downtown Bar (sports)
- Large group, all young women. Standoffish at first, then friendly. Three Dollar Tip.
9:23 Country Residence - Downtown Bar (upscale)
- Father-Son outing. Enjoy Frank Sinatra on the radio, talkative. Two Dollar Tip.
9:30 Hotel - Downtown Bar (hipster)
-large group of young men who claim that there was nothing to do in the Twin Cities, so they came an hour out of town across the state border, probably underage. Two Dollar Tip.
10:00 Apartment - Downtown Bar (local)
- After I spent twenty minutes looking around for a nonexistent address, gentleman calls to complain that I am twenty minutes late, finds out that he made an error, gives correct address. Upon entering vehicle (finally) is upset that his ride is late, despite the fact that he gave the wrong address. During the ride, he asks why there is no meter and finds out that since the cab company is run by the city, it is a flat rate of $2.75 per person. "Well since you're a city employee, and my tax dollars pay for your wage, I'm not going to tip you." Screw you pal. It's not like a get paid well, or get health care, or dental, or any pleasure from looking for nonexistent addresses cause you're either to stupid or lazy to find out just where the hell you are. No Tip.
10:15 Downtown Bar (local) - Trailer Court
- Regular drunk who got a DUI in August. Informs me that he's giving up drinking, and plans to open up his own private taxi service and that I should come work for him. Almost forgets case of beer in cab. Dollar Tip.
10:22 Downtown Bar (local) - Apartment Building
- Regular rider going home who is happy to have gotten a New Year's Hat (you know, the ones
with the rubber bands.) Twenty-five Cent Tip. (In her defence, she rides with us almost everyday, and always gives a twenty-five cent tip. I appreciate the consistency.)
10:46 Gas Station - College
- Stopped for coffee and was asked for a ride...figured "why not." I learned why not when he puked in the bucket I had strategically placed between the seats. Twenty-five Cent Tip. (PRICK!!!)
11:21 Hotel - Downtown Bar (Sports)
- Guy spending the night in town to visit girlfriend who had to work that night. Two Dollar Tip.
11:34 Residence - Hotel
- Very drunk young woman and very sober young guy taking care of her. While I wouldn't classify it as "puking," she too used the bucket. (Almost couldn't breath for a minute there.) Two Dollar Tip.
12:00 Make my way home to kiss a beautiful woman and bring in the new year right for the first time in my life.
12:10 High School - Apartment
- Regular who is confined to a wheel chair. Good to see a familiar face. Almost get stuck in his back parking lot due to snow accumulation. No Tip. (None Expected.)
12:30 Downtown Bar (hipster) - Residence
- same place as 8:24. Girlfriend had had too much to drink and boyfriend was seeing her home. Boyfriend insists that I take him back after he goes inside to pee. Says that he already has two out of three of his buddies all but laid for the night and is going back to work for the third. cont.
12:36 Residence - Downtown Bar (hipster)
- take the proxy-Casanova back, wish him luck. Five Dollar Tip.
12:49 Main Street - Downtown Bar (upscale)
- two guys flag me down...will be seeing them again. Dollar Tip.
12:59 Downtown Bar (hipster) - Apartment
- Some of the women who I took out at 9:00. Complain of being groped. I apologize on behalf of all men even though I have never groped anyone without permission. Five Dollar Tip.
1:18 Downtown Bar (Dance Club) - Motel
- Get the "wait one minute" finger for about ten minutes only t0 watch this young guy drag a very drunk young woman out from the bar and put her in the back. I wait for him to get in as he closes the door and comes up to my window brandishing a ten dollar bill. Tells me that the room they are staying is open and asks me to make sure that this girl who has just passed out in the back of my taxi gets inside. I tell him that maybe he should take her back and I could bring him back to the club, but he insists on staying, saying that he trusts me not to do anything to her.
Dude, I know that you aren't reading this, but I still have to say that you are a very bad friend, and if I was a couple of rungs down the morality ladder this girl could have been in serious danger, not to mention I could have stole all the booze you had laying about in your open motel room. Maybe I'm being uptight, but...whatever. I took her to the room sat her down on the bed and left.
People scare me sometimes.
Seven Dollar and Twenty-Five Cent Tip.
1:30 Downtown Bar (Dance Club) - Residence
- Large group, very drunk, very loud. Get concerned when I take a wrong turn and add three minutes to their trip. Thankful when I get them home. Girl who was in passenger seat falls on her butt in snow covered driveway and starts weeping. I get out to see if she is OK, friend who is consoling her say it's alright and I leave them to weep and comfort in their snowy driveway.
Five Dollar Tip.
1:50 Downtown Bar (local) - Residence
- It's the guys from 12:49. The whole ride back, the younger guy is on the phone with someone who appears to be very irritated. Gives the phone to me and asks me to tell his mother (!!!) that I am a cab driver and that I am taking him home. His mother is very drunk and starts yelling at me that her son shouldn't be out. I hang up.
Sometimes I hate people from Wisconsin.
No Tip.
2:13 Downtown Bar (local) - Hotel
- I was starting to get tired at this point and honestly don't remember a thing about it. Possible Tip.
2:31 Downtown Bar (sports) - Apartment
- a surprising lack of calls makes me park in front of the bar with the most people. A fella stumbles out and in a huff a yells incomprehensibly at the people who are cheering that he just got thrown out. He falls on the sidewalk and I help him up. He says he has no money. I take him home anyway.
No Tip.
2:43 Downtown Bar (local) - Hotel
- my mood was starting to wear a bit thin, but these people, although drunk, were in good spirits and enjoyed some of my lewder stories about driving cab. Good peeps. Five Dollar Tip.
3:05 Residence - Residence
- get the "just a minute" finger again for about five minutes (I was supposed to be off at 3:00) and get the a cab full of the most uppity little rich kids I've ever heard speak. One girl actually complained about how cold her toes were from the snow. Maybe it's just me, but I would reconsider the sandals if I were going out on a frosty January evening in Wisconsin.
3:15 Downtown Bar (local) - Country Residence
- Appreciative drunks who are glad to get a safe ride home and say that they appreciate me working on New Years Eve Night. Five Dollar Tip and Many Thank Yous.
Your Welcome. Happy New Year.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
Update to "Equal Opportunity."
Turns out that The Grocery Shopper is not actually mentally handicapped and actually has brain damage from a coma. The reason for the coma: a Blood Alcahol Level of 2.8 and a speed of 80 mph a couple of years ago.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Hey Ladies!!!
I think I have figured out one of the reasons for the gender divide, at least in English-speaking cultures.
It's the use of the words "sir" and "ma'am."
Sir, obviously, is masculine and can denote a male of any age whom one does not know the name of. Respectful, quick, and easy. It's perfect.
Ma'am, on the other hand, denotes maturity, which can be a problem for some members of the female population, and is at very least, politely avoided by anyone with the smallest amount of tact, (or someone in a cab, trying to get a tip.)
Even the derivatives of Ma'am; Miss, Mrs, and Mizz are just as, if not more, off-putting. From there you can only reduce it to "Lady." Which, depending on your generation, conjures memories of either Jerry Lewis or the Beastie Boys screaming, "Hey Lady(ies)!!"
So what's a poor cabdriver to say when he wants to get the attention of a 30 something female whom he doesn't know the name of and needs to communicate the confirmation of a pick up time from across a parking lot to?
Hey You!!!
Naw, only joking, I used, "excuse me," but it made me wonder if there was anything to the argument that women have no identifier that is respectful yet still not age-identifying.
Oh well, not a big deal as far as gender politics (or anything for that matter) go, just a general observation.
Not unlike the observation made by drunk-dub regarding the unseasonably nice weather, "Well, this Global Warming thing is turning out to be alright, ain't it?"
He was serious. Guess he didn't hear (or rather doesn't care) about the Polar Bears.
It's the use of the words "sir" and "ma'am."
Sir, obviously, is masculine and can denote a male of any age whom one does not know the name of. Respectful, quick, and easy. It's perfect.
Ma'am, on the other hand, denotes maturity, which can be a problem for some members of the female population, and is at very least, politely avoided by anyone with the smallest amount of tact, (or someone in a cab, trying to get a tip.)
Even the derivatives of Ma'am; Miss, Mrs, and Mizz are just as, if not more, off-putting. From there you can only reduce it to "Lady." Which, depending on your generation, conjures memories of either Jerry Lewis or the Beastie Boys screaming, "Hey Lady(ies)!!"
So what's a poor cabdriver to say when he wants to get the attention of a 30 something female whom he doesn't know the name of and needs to communicate the confirmation of a pick up time from across a parking lot to?
Hey You!!!
Naw, only joking, I used, "excuse me," but it made me wonder if there was anything to the argument that women have no identifier that is respectful yet still not age-identifying.
Oh well, not a big deal as far as gender politics (or anything for that matter) go, just a general observation.
Not unlike the observation made by drunk-dub regarding the unseasonably nice weather, "Well, this Global Warming thing is turning out to be alright, ain't it?"
He was serious. Guess he didn't hear (or rather doesn't care) about the Polar Bears.
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